Notice

Thokoza

Hope that nispahila eThongweni.

Just thought that I should let you know as abantwana bethongo that I am no longer available on the cellphone number {084 350 1931} previously posted on my blog, my cellphone was stolen and the gentleman (Unfortunately this platform doesn’t allow me to use the names/words I would prefer to use) that stole it, is currently making use of the number, so please refrain from making contact because I am not sure of his intentions.

I will add my new number as soon as I have one, but I am still available on email.

 

Makudede ubumnyama kuvele ukukhanya

Namaste

Camagu

Lesedi

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The Fruit

Makhosi!

…so last night it hit me, it hit me really hard, the reason I went through the things I went through, especially at the G’s {someday, one day, I will write about what exactly happened there} Learnt that it was never to destroy or weaken me, yet it was for reasons beyond whatever my mind could comprehend.

Ngesikhathi ngikwaG impilo yangishaya ngazo zonke izindlela ongase uzicabange, even after I had left, I still felt the wiping, there came a time when I realised that I had to accept that hell is a place I called home {iphehlo/G’s} but anyway back to the point.

I went through what I went through because I needed to, because it would serve a greater purpose, because my ancestors knew that I would cross paths with people that are walking the same path that I had walked. I have have come to cross paths with people that found comfort in the fact that I could relate, that I could comfort them.

People that would need to hear that light prevails no matter what, and that yes, with that said I had many suicidal thoughts, I wanted to end things any way possible, that I was ashamed, that I had felt like I had failed my ancestors, I was one big mess, everything was my fault, like I didn’t deserve the gift, LOL most days I pondered on whether I truly had the gift or not.

I never could’ve imagined that the hardest time of my life would reap such beautiful fruits; fruits of compassion, fruits of love, fruits of understanding, fruits that would teach me to be humble, fruits that possess no ego, fruits that roar in the depths of the oceans, fruits that are swift winds on mountain tops, fruits that I could share with the world and still overflow, fruits that are light and light prevails all.

I AM THE FRUIT, the roots of the fruits are rooted deep within my soul.

Every single one of us has different fruits that the struggles and darkness are watering within, so allow your soul to be watered and soon you will reap your fruits.

Thokoza Dlozi

Lesedi

Namaste

Love and light – kuzokhanya noma kanjani

Mkhonto Wentaba

Ndawuwe!

For the past couple of weeks, it hit me that years from now, there will be another Gog’Mkhonto Wentaba or Mkhulu Mkhonto Wentaba.

That got me wondering if I as Bongiwe have done enough or will do enough, have I healed or will I heal the generational pain that I was meant to heal, have I mended the bridges that I was meant to mend?

Will I leave the state of affairs better than I found them or will I leave them in shambles?

The day I leave this world would I have used my gift for good/light/pureness/betterment of other or would I have turned it into darkness?

What kind of spirit guide will I become?

Will the future Mkhonto Wentaba one day sit and read these little blogs and think and regconise or not?

Will I be the guide that speaks in riddles that seem to be rambles or will I always get to the point because time is of the essence

Lol – I hope that Khehla/Khehlakazi will be a better listener and observer than me.

I can only hope and pray for best.

Goodbye 2018

How are you black child?

Are you well?

How are your scars healing? Are they healing?

I truthfully worry about you and all that life has thrown your way…

The year is basically over and you will be going all over the place to celebrate having survived 2018 and all the hard knocks it has thrown your way.

Please remember to pray and phahla before you leave the house, remember to be true to yourself – you don’t have to be turning up everywhere that your “friends” are.

You don’t have to try so hard to fit in, remember you never walk alone and remember iDlozi loves showing off, so while you are parting up a storm, know that your people will rise to the occasion LOL

I don’t have much to say, the year is over and it time to unwind and celebrate breathing (I am not big on Christmas, but those that do Merry Christmas) and thank you to every single soul that has let me into their lives.

Sending you Love and Light

See you on the flip side – HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

box cheerful color cute

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

New Beginings

Thokoza batwana beDlozi!

Hope that izithunywa zenu zisanigadile…

I am well. All is well – this is one of those blogs, that I have written a million times, yet some reason never ended up posting it.

In November, last year (2017) I left ephehlweni, not because my initiation was complete, but it was because I had gone to isigodlo that I chose for myself, and not my ancestors, talk about things being F**ked-up, being ephehlweni was as if I had sold my soul to the devil, I was a permanent resident in hell, I sometimes wonder whether my Gobela knew and decided to keep quite, how long had he know, before I finally saw the picture?

So for months I bared the brunt for my mistake, who knew that my own ancestors, would put me through hell, just simply for not listening to them, there were times last year that I couldn’t bare the pain anymore, life wasn’t worth living anymore, yet I didn’t have the balls to end it….or leave isigodlo.

It’s funny how you can sometimes experience Hell and somehow convince yourself that it’s normal, that this is all part of the journey – This is what they mean when they say ukuthwasa isn’t childs play.

…but anyway asikho lapho, sekudlulile konke lokho, sengigcono manje, emotionally, so I can focus on my journey and doing things right – speaking about doing things right, I’m not rushing into things this time around…

Thokoza Makhosi Amakhulu!

Thokoza Ndau

 

The company we keep

Makhosi!

So I’m sitting here, thinking how people can have you so convinced that they have your best interest at heart, kanti dololo.

So this lady has been my “friend” for four (4) years, we’ve talked about alot of stuff in that amount of time, so before she knew that I have the gift she used to speak so lowly of traditional healers, like she’s never been to one because they are all fake (in my mind I wonder how she’d know, if she has never set foot, but hey! It’s her issue not mine) – then one day during lunch she slips, telling me about a healer she went to in High School (Hawu! Wena futi)…

….Anyway once ngiqale ukuthwasa she became overly interested in my progress, sometimes I think she’d patronise me, it’s not what she said, it’s the way she’d say thing’s, but I’m a lover not a fighter and even when I got bad vibes, I tried hard to hide them.

Then a couple of days my ancestors warn me of someone trying to harm them, and how that person will not succeed (you can imagine how I was wrecking my mind trying to figure out who’d want to do that to me -nothing just getting blanks)

Ngoba futi life is beautiful, she enters my space yesterday and idlozi gives me the answer and I’m sitting there thinking to myself it’s gotta be a mistake…

Now today was just a classic, we were just talking and she talks talking about whitch craft, and I’m like “oh! Ave ngibathanda abathakati banikeza idlozi lami amandla, ay ngoba ngizitshela, kodwa umuntu mangabe ezongithakatha kumele enze sure ukuti okwenza right first time, coz they only get one chance, emvakwalokho wozibonela yena, too bad umuntu akabuyi ezosho ukuti bengithi ngiyakuthakatha”, she’s like Hawu! You can’t be serious, I tell her I’m dead serious – she walks away without saying a word…

While I sit opposite her, watching her eat, I know what she’s thinking, she’s wondering; why I’m still standing? Maybe delayed effect? Do I know what she’s up too? What am I going to do?

😂😂😂I want to say to her, “It’s out of my hands, but I know for a fact a storm is coming, that’s going to rip you apart, it will come in the full force you deserve, unfortunately I have no say in the matter, my ancestors don’t consult me when it comes to puishment, but I have seen what they are capable of, not even Shembe will help you”

Makhosi watch the company you keep very closely, not everyone is for you, not everyone is clapping when you win.

Zishingishane zomoya👏

18 October 2017

Thokozani Makhehla boGogo

Ngiyakhuleka Dlozi, emakhosini, kunina zingonyama zentaba, zindlondlo zamanzi, zinyoni zomlilo.

Ngiyakhuleka ekhaya koMalume koMchunu, cingwane, yeyese, phakade, nyanda yemkonto, ngiyakhuleka kuwena malumeBlakufa, ngiyakhuleka kuwena malume Mzikayifani nabo bonke o-malume bami abangigadile; ngithi bayede Makhosi amakhulu.

Ngiyakhuleka ekayakwaMdlaose, nyanda wephahla, dikane, kwenta, madlula, mgabashe, ngiyakhuleka kwiKhehla lami uBhayiza; ngithi Makhosi, Dlozi elihle. Ngiyakhuleka kuweSalukwazi sami Nokuphikisa, ngithi kuwe ngiyabonga ngothando onginikeza lona.

Ngiyakhuluka kuMakhosi amakhulu, Dlozi elihle, Makhosi J…nina boG…nina enanginikeza impande yami, nagikhulisa ngokwedlozi. Ngiyabonga

I don’t know why I’m here writing because I was told to no-longer blog, but here I am.

I have been soo deep in depression, it wasn’t even funny, I was stuck in that dark pit just lying there waiting for help or maybe even a reason worth fighting for. Whilst wallowing in my depression, thinking that depression has attacked and won me over because I am all of a sudden ‘weak’ I came to realize that depression seems to be a norm for people with a calling regardless of whether they have answered it or not….

…At some point I was so deep I couldn’t even pray or phahla, I was just so tired of being tired and I felt my life was a complete mess, I felt like I had lost control of everything…

This is not a call for help, I am just sharing so that somebody out there realises that they are not alone, there is a whole shit load of us.

Namaste

Thokozani Makhehla noGogo

Makhosi zindlondlo ezinkhulu ezabona umndiki wokhokho ngamehlo

#Ndau

#Phelelisiwe